Monday, May 21, 2007

Kyoto Kraziness

After the baseball game, I trained it down to Kyoto... It started rather calmly as Jason and I got some coffee, checked out random architecture & stores, and ate at an amazing Italian restaurant with a REAL WOOD-BURNING PIZZA OVEN with the most beautiful "outhouse" I've ever seen! We celebrated with a carafe of red wine, yum.

Then it just went downhill (and I have no pictures). We stopped to pick up some alcohol (I got plum wine & soda) and got to Ruth's place, where a boisterous game of "Shithead" was being played. Since I didn't know how to play, I was in charge of making the "Shithead drink"- which basically consisted of mixing every alcohol in the kitchen into one cup... The next thing I knew, I was playing (with Lliam as my coach) and then we were in taxis on our way to Sanjo Kawaramachi....

ABar was ridiculously packed with loud drunk gaijin and Japanese locals but I just wasn't feeling it. So a small group of us went to a tiny bar around the corner and hung out there, until Tom passed out and fell off his chair. Rob kept bringing up a "whipping bar" next door that he had "stumbled upon" and then we found ourselves "sumimasen-ing" out of this bar into the bar next door.... me, being the only girl at this point. There were 3 sketchy older men and a dildo at the bar, so we realized that this was not a "typical" bar. However, we were all very drunk happy (several vodka sodas later at this point), but for some reason, Jason was not entertained. The bartender/ hostess/ "mistress" pointed a finger at Jason and announced that he was "boring". After some discussion, we concluded that she was saying that he was "bored", so, Rob suggested that she whip him, which she happily did with some leather contraption that she had behind the bar. Jason barely even flinched as the whip flailed at his arms and back, and Rob, in his excitement, yelped as he got "residual" whipping fron getting too close to the action.

Disappointed at the lack of reaction from Jason, the woman peered into Jason's eyes, and then proceeded to shove two fingers UP HIS NOSE. We all just sat there in shock, like WAIT... Did that JUST happen?!? Jason turns to us and says calmly, "She just stuck her fingers up my nose." and turns back to look at her, at which point she does it again! and held them there! It was wild. Definitely not a drunken imagination...

Finally we left and she followed us out to say goodbye. She was very civilized and sweet to the guys, but then, she tried to um, make out with me. HOT! errrrr, NOT. I think it was a ploy to get the guys to stay (as I heard in the background "TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM LAURIE!!!" but no.... I gracefully ducked out of her arms and said goodbye. Wow, close one.

Staggered out of there into some convenience store where I apparently bought some kiwi-flavored alcohol (?) and joined the group of foreigners drinking down at the river. Staggered over to Hamid's, the falafel place. Tried to say goodbye for an hour. Finally, Lliam, Jason, and I staggered into a taxi as the sky was turning a light blue at 4-something am.....

I guess this is what you get for living in little Miyazu, where everything closes by 6pm... Life in the big city!!

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